Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Change Class



I was a little bit disappointed of the sudden change of the classes. I'm not anymore handling the College Bound Program. I've gone back to the "normal" classes this summer. I had my mind set already for that program. The teacher who was hired to really teach on those classes should, according to the Vice Chancellor of the Academic Affairs, not leave the program. She was supposed to have a summer rest because she was undergoing changes in her body due to old age. That was according to her. But she was given back my original schedule.

And so, I'm handling Statistics. I started already this morning. It was also fun. They were my cousin Titong's classmates. The good news on this was that, I only have work in the morning. So, I'll have the whole afternoon for my thesis work. :)

Time to work on it now.. Byeeee....

I have this mantra (just one of many all over my room) written on the wall beside my bed. It says:

I CAN DO IT! :)
I CAN FINISH MY THESIS! :)
I WILL FINISH MY THESIS! :)
I CAN SOLVE THE THEOREMS! :)

Aja Ems! :)


I placed lots of smiles on it so I'll be more encouraged to work. It's nice to be always reminded of the goals that I'm working on. :)

Monday, April 19, 2010

Unfocused


I've been doing things in this computer for almost 2 hours already. But I guess I haven't really accomplished one. Well, maybe except for blogging on this struggle that I have now.

I've checked my emails, read Bo Sanchez' blogpost of the week. I've searched for an open source software in mathematics that I'll be teaching next semester. I wanted to find an alternative of the computer algebra system Maxima that I was studying. I found the terminologies so technical when the subject just aims to teach the basics of inputting equations and generating results. I suppose the math students should not really be taught so much of the syntax and commands and all. It will be more of the applications.

As I was looking for other software, I was surprised of how wide the selections in the web were. Open source softwares were everywhere. And I don't know which one was the most established already - the one which will be very useful in the future. And so I decided to stick with what the recommended CD has.

Something got my interest along the way. I also wanted to download something like a "moviemaker", more advanced. But I also don't know which one is the best. And I don't wanna read tons of reviews just to discover one.

And now I end up frustrated of having accomplished nothing. But I need to get back to focus. Wheeww!!!!!

I'm getting back to work. :) Thanks for listening. :)

I just wish I'll be paid off by just blogging about my feelings. :) That would be the best job ever! I would so be willing to blog everything that I feel. :) (I wish)

Ok..... It's really time to work :)

Sunday, April 18, 2010

The Best Summer Afternoon


Just when I thought days would be so hard for me this summer.

It still is amazing to know that life gives fair surprises. :) I had my best summer afternoon so far.I only had the morning classes last friday because of conflicts on schedules. And so Ate My and I decided to treat ourselves with a choco hazelnut ice cream. But it was not available anymore after several minutes of hoping and expecting that we could eat that. She'd been dying to have that for weeks already. We just settled on the ice cream on the scooping station. She had her fave flavor durian. And I had the double dutch. We were somehow satisfied.

Just right beside the ice cream section was the massage section. I waited for her. I wasn't a fan of massages. I was busy with my new MP4 which I just had that same afternoon. I'm also not a techie. I don't know which gadget is better or the latest or the most sought after. I just felt I needed that MP4 for my audio books. I want to maximize my time. I still want to be doing something else during rides, washing my clothes, waiting for a friend, or even strolling, or before sleeping. And I also want to be soothed by nice music before going to sleep. :)

After her massage, I kinda got jealous. She kept on telling me how good it felt and how she was feeling better after. And for the first time ever, I got a back massage. :) And indeed, I felt so much better. As if my back was so light. I felt so light, too. :) I think I wanna have that as my constant reward.

The good life didn't just end there. We had a late afternoon snack at Cafe Spazio on the same mall. She had special spaghetti (Half of the pasta was of a red sauce and the other half was of a white sauce. That's how I figured it out why it was named special spag).



And I had the tuna pasta in cream sauce or the pasta tuna in cream sauce or the pasta in tuna cream sauce. Whatever the real name of that is. :)

And after, we attended a mass. It was just a perfect afternoon.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Summer Classes On



It's April 15 and the summer classes for College Bound Program should have started yesterday. I didn't know. I only knew late this morning. And so, I'll just start tomorrow. I'll have three classes - 9-10:30, 10:30-12, and 1-2:30. I've met with my two classes this afternoon on their tutorial time and gave few instructions for tomorrow.

This will be my first summer classes in MSU and I'm so excited. :) It's as if I'll be teaching for the first time :) It felt good being in the classroom again after less than a month. I don't know. The excitement is just so different this time. Maybe because I'll be teaching a special program.

College Bound Program (CBP) is for those cultural minority students who have not reached the passing score of Systems Admission and Scholarship Examination (SASE). They are given special classes on math, english, and values education. Students who will show satisfactory performance will be given the chance to enroll for 4-year courses the next semester.

I'm so happy to be part of this program. Students with strong determination to gain a bachelor's degree will definitely shine. This is a crucial point of their education. If they pass on this one, they have a brighter future waiting for them. If not, they'll just be I guess back in their provinces and start a new life outside school. Considering that most of these students are underprivileged, I swear to be doing my best to leave a significant impact on their lives and hope to their dreams.

I love being a teacher :)

"A Walk To Remember"



I had a long walk this afternoon which I don't usually do. It was raining a bit hard and the only transportation we have in school (for commuters) is a habal-habal (a motor bike). It would definitely get me wet. Thus I decided to take a long walk. And after all, I enjoy being in the rain (with my umbrella on). I feel like being in a music video :)

I'm passing the same way everyday but I'm sometimes in a rush that I neglect to notice how beautiful my world is. I looked at my surroundings and savored every moment of it. The trees seemed to be greener. Their leaves seemed to be dancing more gracefully. The flowers seemed to be more colorful. The skies seemed to be more vast, the field more attractive. The rain drops seemed to sound happier. The drizzles touched my face even gentler. It was a perfect rainy afternoon.

I was humming with the sound of the wind. And to my surprise, I suddenly felt sad. I dug the answer from the deepest deep of my heart and I found none. I continued walking and questioning. I found myself almost crying with the skies. Then I understood.

On that beautiful moment, I found myself longing for that deepest desire of my heart.

One Fun Afternoon

I had a very exciting day yesterday. I finished typing parts of my thesis in the morning and it felt good to have done something about it. Next step, read my Abstract Algebra textbook to review the basic concepts needed for proving.

The day before, Ate My and Laiza (my colleagues/close friends) planned to play badminton and so I decided to go with them. I didn't wanna play. I just wanted to watch and bring that book with me so I'll have a new environment and a different aura. :) I had a healthy lunch - rice, fish stew, and a very delicious ripe mango. And so the afternoon came.

Sir Nathan, one of our colleagues, too and a bowling coach in school also decided to spend the afternoon with us. And guess what, the plan changed. Since he doesn't play badminton, he suggested to go bowling. And the two girls were so game! Uhmmm... Did they actually say bowling? The last time I bowled was uhmmmm...3 years ago? But without a second thought, bowling indeed. After all, I would not be playing. I would just be watching.

Bowling came right after Sir Nathan treated us on Cafe Amoree. They have delicious choco and coffee drinks and frappes. I just drink the ones with strange names. :) I wanna try every frappe. Yesterday I ordered Iced Dutch Choco.. Uhmm.. I forgot the exact name. But I'm sure it has Dutch.



Anyway, when we were there, people seemed to have so much fun. I'm sure I had fun too 3 years ago. Then I returned my Abstract Algebra in my bag and told myself, I was going to have fun. And so I did. I was not a good player. But Sir Nathan said, not bad for a beginner. :) I wanna play more the next time because I wanna master the art of throwing that ball and take all those pins down. I found myself so eager to just throw and throw the ball and make those standing pins disappear from my eyes. :) I super enjoyed bowling.

We ate dinner after at Chicken Ati-atihan. I had delicious hot shrimp sinigang and chicken Ati-atihan. I guess it was just the same with chicken inasal - the grilled marinated chicken.



After, I had my haircut and hotoil. It was so refreshing. I love it when I have something new. I wasn't so satisfied with the service, though. But I took in consideration the emotional state of that attendant because prior to my haircut, I heard his aunt texted informing him that his father was admitted in the hospital.

Anyways, the last part of my day was the service meeting of Singles for Christ. I was so late that I had a grand entrance and everyone was teasing me about going to that parlor and have my hair done on an unusual time in the evening. (I had it at 8pm and was done past 9). When I arrived, they were about to end. But I knew my presence wasn't much of an importance on that meeting. And I had Ate My to take notes of my tasks.

My yesterday has been one of the best days ever! :)

To my Father be all the glory! (Thank You my King for making Your princess beautiful and free!)

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

What's Up For Summer?


People are going completely absorbed by summer. In the television especially. Every TV show is themed summer. People are planning vacations, finding new hobbies, learning new sport, and enjoying the luxury of rest. Some would buy tons of dvd's and lock up in their room and watch movies all day. Some would sleep all day and eat non-stop. It's kinda a weight-gain program. The newly grads are looking for a job.

I love summers! :) It's one special time of the year that I get to do the above mentioned. I had vacations on my past summers. I enrolled in a cooking school. I once was crazy over finding a job. I tried that all day movie watching and all day sleeping and eating. Uhmm... Maybe except for that learning a sport. I'm trying to scan my memory but I guess I haven't really taken an effort to learn one. I'm not sporty. I only know of skipping rope. (I'm quite good at it. :))And maybe a bit of belly dancing and taebo inside my room. Yup. My room here in BQ is big enough for me to skip and hop and jump and do taebo. :)

But this summer would be different for me. No grand vacations. No enrollment on a hobby class. Less sleeping. I'll be, first and foremost, continuing my Master's thesis. It's pending for a year and a half already. This is the time that I'll be grounding myself to refocus again. (May God bless me on this one. I need the strength to stick on it, the determination to work so hard, the passion so I can continue with a big heart for it, and the wisdom to easily understand everything.)

Secondly, it'll be my first summer job ever! :) I refuse to accept work on summers before because of the climate here. The heat is really unbearable. But this time, I think I can manage. So what's with the heat. I have my umbrella. I'll be applying so much of my sunblock and drink lots and lots of water. I'm already excited! :) Classes start next week. MSU on a summer here I come! :)

Thirdly, I'll be learning the computer algebra system which I'll be teaching the next semester. When it was opened up to me, I got my blood running to my face. My cells became so alive! :) Finally, there's something new. I'll be over preparing for algebra, trigonometry, geometry, even basic math. I'll be teaching how to use computer software on math. Oh, Lord! You truly answers prayers. And visions do come into reality. Now, who says teaching life is boring? I super love this job! :)

Fourthly, I'll be serving the Christian Life Program of Singles for Christ every Sunday. Now, this one will break the monotony in my hectic weekdays. The community is like my sanctuary. It gives me joy being with my brothers and sisters. And this summer, we'll have new members. The Gensan chapter is getting bigger. More singles will be living the fullness of life. :)

When this summer means less fun for me, it'll be more academically nurturing and spiritually comforting.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Not Just Any Other Graduation

April 8, 2010 was Mindanao State University's Baccalaureate Services. Teachers are always enjoined to join these services and the graduation ceremonies the day after. We also prepare for these days just like the graduates. We buy our dresses, think about our hair do's. It's an every year affair in which We take extra effort to look good, eventhough we don't really have big participation.

But this year for me is not just any other graduaion. It was my brother Toto's graduation and he was a Cum Laude! :) I'm so proud of him. He's the only awardee in BS Biology. His efforts have finally been paid off. We did not expect it but he worked so hard and surprised us. :) I like it when my siblings achieve something great because it's a source of joy for my parents. I saw how my parents marched with great pride.



I remember how it was for me four years ago. I was emotional when I was heading to the stage, holding both my parents' hands because I was the first in the family who graduated in college with honors. It was a very fulfilling moment for me. It was my gift to my parents after long years of support and sacrifices. Going back to my brother. The night of graduation, we had grand celebration at home. I described it to be grand because it was the first ever "party" at home that we had pig lechon. We just usually had chicken lechon, just like on my college graduation.

I was very happy that night when my mother's co-teachers reminded us of how blessed we are to have been raised wonderfully by our parents. That night I realized how proud I am of how my siblings have become. Almost everyone in the party expected Toto to pursue his studies in a medical school. It became a pressure on him because he really wanted to get a masters in environmental science. He's giving himself a year to think about his career path. And I pray that he would choose the one which he sees himself living for the rest of his life.



It was also my sister Lenlen's 26th birthday on the 9th, which made it a 4-in-1 celebration. My 25th birthday was on the 2nd of April. My Aunt Bebing on the 7th and our youngest brother Bobet on the 16th. Truly God rewards hard works and surprises us with things we did not even ask for! :)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

A Commencement Speech Which Made Me Cry


I always pay attention to speeches. People of great achievements inspire me so much. I have this continuous desire to be successful and effective in my every endeavor. Thus, i get inspiration from those who have reached what I still am working on.

This speech is extra special to me. This was delivered by Engr. Guillermo Pantuhan, our high school valedictorian and a very good friend. (General Santos City High School, March 2010) I was controlling my tears especially on the part when his father died. This is special because, I felt like I was part of the journey. I remembered how it was and I felt him.

But apart from these personal reasons, this is something that every student must get inspiration from.



What defines a great nation is how great its people are. What defines a great person is how wise he utilizes his resources, how full are his potentials and how whole his being is. And in everything, beyond all the hard works and passion, is the need for education.

History speaks how education has changed the world. Education, springing out of man’s natural desire to satisfy his curiosities, has changed the life of mankind. It was education that built the ancient Pyramids and the modern skyscrapers. It was education that tamed the lions and cloned the sheep. It was the same education that created the alphabet and enabled us to type our text messages. And in all man’s intelligence, and even in all his foolishness, there was education behind them.

Back when I was a child, my parents would always remind me to value education. Lagi nilang sinasabi na mag-aral ng mabuti, na ang edukasyon ay ang pinakamagandang kayamanang maipapamana nila sa akin. Ito raw ang magdadala sa akin sa tagumpay at ang magbibigay katuparan sa aking mga pangarap. Ako naman, isang batang napakamura pa ng isipan, umaayon lang sa kanila nang di talaga naiintindihan ang kahulugan at lalim ng mga salitang yon. Even when I went to high school and college, they never falter in reminding me to work hard for my education. And now, years after, I fully comprehend what they taught me.

When you have education, there seems to be no limit to what you have and to what you can do. Education has not only given me knowledge, but as well as power, privilege, influence and confidence, among all other things. It is not just knowledge on science or mathematics or language, but wisdom, the type of intellect that enables me to make the best choices and the right actions. Ito ang talinong kayang desisyonan kung kelan ang tama ay makakabuti, o kelan ang mabuti ay siyang tama. Education has given me power to change my life in several aspects – financially, materially, emotionally, and spiritually. It has given me the privilege to make my dreams come true. It has given me confidence that I could freely express myself and the influence that I could be more responsive and I could touch other people’s lives. And more than anything else, it has given me much more than what I wanted for myself, for my family, and for the society. According to Nelson Mandela, an African Nobel prize – awardee, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” And indeed, in countless ways, education has changed the world, and our lives.

Ang masaklap nga lang, hindi lahat sa atin ay nabibigyan ng pagkakataon sa edukasyon. According to a study conducted, 96.77 percent of Filipino elementary school-age children go to school while only 66.06 percent of high school-age teenagers go to secondary school. Ibig sabihin, kulang-kulang na pito sa bawat sampung kabataang Pinoy ang nakakapag-high school. Pito sa bawat sampu. Kung wala sa paaralan, nasaan ang tatlo? Sa bahay lang ba, o nagtatrabaho na, o nasa kalye lamang? Moreover, 27 out of 100 Filipinos aged 25-64 have completed at least tertiary education. O naging tatlo na lamang sa bawat sampu ay nakatapos ng kolehiyo. At sa mga nakatapos, hindi pa lahat ay may angkop na trabaho. Yan ang sinasabi ng mga numero, mga statistikang sumasalamin sa tunay na kalagayan ng ating bansa. Kahit ano pa ang kadahilanan ng mga numerong ito, napakahalaga pa rin ng eduakasyon. It is education itself that can actually change the figures.

Our quest for education, and as well as for fulfilling our dreams in the process, is never easy at all. Mahirap, masakit at minsan pa nga ay malungkot. At makailang beses, madadarapa tayo at paulit-ulit na susubukin ng pagkakataon.

I am not exempted to these hardships. I faced several trials along the way; and like all of us, I struggled. My family lived a very simple life; with my parent’s simple means of sustaining the family’s needs, somehow, we survived each day. Iyon nga lang, maraming pagtitipid at pagtitiis. May mga bagay na kelangang isantabi muna, ipagpaliban, hanapan ng alternatibo, at minsan pa, di na talaga pwede. Hindi ako namulat sa maluhong pamumuhay; ang sapat ay talagang sapat nga lang, at ang sobra ay kailangang ilaan sa iba. Dahil dito, natuto akong itaguyod ang aking sarili at mangarap nang higit pa sa kaninuman. Naging matatag at masigasig ako. At labis-labis na ipinagpapasalamat ko ito sa aking mga magulang.

Fortunately, by the Almighty’s mercy, I got a scholarship in high school; and in college, I acquired more scholarships that I truly became financially independent. Lahat-lahat, ako na ang gumagastos para sa aking sarili. It was a good feeling – to be of great help to myself, and to be of greater help to my family. Anyone can gain scholarships, if only we explore our strengths and use them to our greatest advantage. There are plenty of opportunities and privileges for those performing well in sports, dancing, singing, theater, and academics; and what needs to be done is to develop and nurture them.

But there are some events we cannot reckon that will happen to us. Early 2007, I underwent an eye operation. I had a cataract in my right eye. For the past days, I was living with only one good eye. Hindi ko lubos mawari kung paano ako nagkaroon ng katarata, basta’t nagising na lamang ako isang umaga na ang nakikita ng aking isang mata ay puro ulap. Mga ulap na kulay abo, kulay ng kalungkutan at paghihirap. Parang isang malaking kumot ang bumalot sa aking pagkatao. Ngunit sabi nga nila, “behind the clouds, the sun shines.” After a sensitive eye surgery, I was able to see clearly again. Life was clearer again, and the world was much brighter. Ang ganda ng mundo. Truly, health is wealth.

After all the hard work, I finally reaped all the harvests. Amidst all the applause and happy faces, I received my college diploma by March 30, 2007, with the honors of Cum Laude. I was very happy.

By August that year, after a long review, financial drain, and struggle with frequent asthma attacks, I took the licensure examination for agricultural engineers. After a few days, the results were released – I placed second in the national ranking. In the newspapers, and on the Internet, I found my name. Ang sarap palang malathala ang iyong pangalan! Ang aking kaligayahan ay abot hanggang langit. Nanalig ako sa Diyos at ibinuhos ko ang aking enerhiya at galing sa isang bagay na lubos kong inaasam-asam. At nagbunga ang lahat. By November that same year, I was accepted at Mindanao State University – General Santos City as a faculty member.

I felt most blessed, and I have never felt happier in my whole life. But just when I thought I have everything I have worked hard and prayed for, a tragedy struck my family. By December 8, 2007, before my glorious year had ended, my father died. He died of cardiac arrest and complication in his internal organs. He died so suddenly. He died only few months after I graduated and topped the board exam, and only two weeks after I started my job at the university. He died before Christmas and New Year came. He died even before I could share to him my first salary. Days after, I received my first pay check, and for a very long time, I stared at the piece of paper. It was a two-month pay and it was big. But no amount of money could fill the sorrow in the heart; I have never felt sadder in my whole life. My father had always been very proud of me. Tuwing recognition o graduation ko, gustong-gusto niya na siyang yong aakyat sa stage at magsasabit ng aking ribbon o medalya. Napakahilig niyang payuhan ako tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay kahit na minsan ay hindi naman ako nagiging interesado. Napakadami niyang pangarap para sa akin na kanyang bunso at junior. At habang tinititigan ko ang cheke na iyon, inaalala ko ang kanyang mukha. Ipininta ko sa aking isipan ang kanyang mukha. Gusto kong ibahagi ang lahat sa kanya, at kahit sa huling pagkakataon ay yakapin siya at pasalamatan. Ngunit imposible; kaya kahit sa isip man lamang at imahinasyon ko, ginawa ko iyon. Yong cheke ay isang kapiraso lamang ng papel, ngunit kinatawan nito ang lahat ng pinangarap ng aking ama para sa akin at sa buong pamilya. At ikanga, aanhin pa ang damo, pag patay na ang kabayo.

2007 is such a memorable year for me; it was the year of my greatest triumph and greatest loss. But I must continue. The world will not stop turning for me, so I must persevere. 2008 and 2009 passed. The years rolled by and more opportunities and blessings came to me.

Education has indeed fulfilled my dreams. It has fulfilled others’ dreams as well. Yet, education is not a free gift. It is something earned by hard work, patience and perseverance. It is not a one strike victory, not something we get overnight. It is more of a seed that needs to be planted deep in ourselves; it has to be nurtured, developed and protected. More importantly, education is not a one-man battle.

There are those teachers who had been with you throughout this endeavor. Graduates, if you are happy right now, I assure you that your teachers are a hundred times happier than you. Pag sinabi ni Ma’am o ni Sir mamaya na “proud sila sa iyo”, believe them. Dili na siya atik-atik lang. I am a teacher myself.And when it comes to their students, teachers are the most caring and most sincere people in the world.

There are also those parents who are right now the happiest and proudest fathers and mothers in the world. My parents may not have provided me before with the best of the world; but they gave me the best love, the best understanding and the best support I needed to succeed. And from a child’s perspective, I say na masarap harapin ang mga laban sa buhay hangga’t alam mong may mga magulang kang lagi lamang sa iyong likuran na gumagabay at tumutulong.

And above anyone else, there are the students who are right now the graduates. You have done an excellent job; in the following years, I believe you can do so much more and so much better in your life. Life is like a classroom lecture, there are lessons being taught, but it is up to us to listen, to take notes, to study, and to learn. And if ever we fail the quizzes, we can always redeem ourselves, strive harder and score high in the major examinations.

In everything we achieve, let us always remain humble. This is one of the best lessons in life – to be humble. When we make ourselves humble, others will make us great. In every blessing that comes, always share and give back. Always keep in ourselves a thankful and giving heart. In this way, we will succeed in life. For true success only comes when we start dreaming less for ourselves, but more for our loved ones, for our community, for the country, and for the whole world.

Graduates, high school chapter has ended, but there are still more chapters to come. Don’t let this be the end of your education. Push forward and aim high, yet, working within your own limitations. Dream, persevere, and succeed. As you received your diploma, you also accept the challenge of being responsible Filipino youth, the hope of our motherland. To all of you graduates, CONGRATULATIONS!

Ladies and gentlemen, good morning and Magandang Gensan!