I have been making vision boards for each new year, break these down to goals for each month, and even further, to-do lists for each day. This is me for a little more than a decade. But in 2018, I stopped. I stopped doing my vision board. I did not have a planner. I did not write a single daily list of to-do’s. Not that I gave up on life but because I wanted to test a theory- a theory on destiny, “Whatever is meant for you will not pass you.” Equivalently, whatever is not meant for you will never be yours.
I welcomed the year with no plans, no expectations but with recycled dreams, usual fire for the things I love and willingness to embrace whatever comes along the way. It was at first scary but I knew I had taken uncalculated risks in the past, what could go wrong. How did my year go? Best year yet! Just like how I describe my every year during my evaluations because really, I learned so much. Unexpected, unplanned big things came as surprises and I was not disappointed about those which did not happen because I never planned anything in the first place. Ha! What a relief!
I am a worrier. Worry is deeply rooted within me I reckon I was born with it. I worry about every tiny detail in my life I have control issues. So imagine a big goal in my vision board made on January only realized in the middle of the year or worse, the last month, or worst never. In 2018 my biggest achievement, I consider, is letting go and letting God. I have always told this to myself, have written it on borders of my books and notebooks, posted it on my bedroom walls but it is only now that I can say I have fully lived by it. Now allow me to scratch that “am” on the first statement of this paragraph and change it to “was”. I was a worrier. Ahhh... That felt good. That kind of transformation was never part of the plan, was not forced into me by me, but it happened because it was meant to be 
. I feel so free... plus I am sleeping better. Ha!
Since I did not have dreams posted on my wall, I had nowhere else to look but within. 2018 was an intimate journey within myself. I am a fan of books of how to’s and chasing dreams. I must admit the readings opened my mind, made me more aware of the vastness of the world, the places I can go, the amazing possibilities. There is so much out there to achieve but I got a little confused along the way. With so much access to other people’s dreams, I confused mine with their’s. Theirs were so loud I got distracted and forgot to listen to mine. I learned to carefully choose what to feed my mind and my eyes.
Now with better understanding of my own dreams- what I really want to become, do, and have, I am ready to face another year. And I am getting back to having a vision board and goals because... they are fun and planners are really irresistible! Ha! I got this one by Des Feliciano and Krissy Domingo.
But really, because I also believe in Law of Attraction: "You attract into your life whatever you are focusing on." This may sound like a contradiction to the above theory on destiny but I think the former precedes the latter. I have to start somewhere and besides writing dreams sparks excitement and fuels motivation.
Chasing is too strong of a word for a slow-paced me. It makes me panic when I can not achieve this and that within a timeline. I will keep dreaming, discerning for the purpose of those dreams that are planted in my heart, working for those dreams, and believing that whatever is meant for me will never pass me. More importantly, just in case the worrier in me will try to show up, I will rest in the comfort that whatever is not meant for me, however hard I will work and chase for it, will never ever be mine.
Have a blissful, bountiful, and peaceful year ahead, friends.
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