Quiet Holiday

It's been 3 years since my last post! Well, hello there! I bumped into an old post and started wondering, what if I write something today just so I have something to look back on one day? I keep forgetting how fun and reflective it is to read my thoughts from the past. So, I'm leaving another thought here today, not knowing when I'll be able to do this again. 

I am alone in the house right now as the husband is at a family get-together, and I have work to finish. (By the way, I am still kilig using the word 'husband,' even after 4 years. Ha!) Before work starts, I am giving myself some quiet time and have decided to leave a 'footprint' here. Proof of life, as they say. 

What I enjoy lately: food preps for a week's lunch baon in our new kitchen. :) The kitchen of my dreams. I've been wanting a kitchen counter bar with gold pendant lights, a space for the ovens underneath, a spice rack drawer, cabinet doors that softly close, and the colors must be neutrals and gold. :) Everything is check, check, check! It really is amazing how something one holds so dear to their heart one day just comes true. 

That would be all for now. But really, I hope this becomes a habit. I love you, self. You are doing well, do not worry. And, friends, wherever you are physically or mentally, you are doing well, too. You got this!

One Month Into Marriage

I found this message in my Gmail draft. I cannot recall the exact moment but I imagine I was typing this one quiet afternoon while waiting for my husband to come home from work. It was titled just like this post's title. Here goes...

Dear self,

It is a little over a month now that you have become a missus and oh boy, how you love being married!

• Every action becomes more intentional and every decision becomes more meaningful. I should consider him in every action and decision I have to make. But it's not like oh-I-already-lost-my-freedom-because-I-need-to-consider-him-all-the-time thing. It is more like God-entrusted-this-person-to-me-so-I-need-to-be-mindful-of-his-welfare-in-the-best-way-possible kind of thing, which is a wonderful way of thinking about what partnership really is.
• Sense of belongingness. 
• Eating meals together.
• The amazing tiny things you discover about him.
• I have somebody to go home to.
• Being a homemaker. Nobody warned me about the joy that homemaking could bring. It is so fun and so far, my most favorite part of owning a place.

I wanted to read so much more! This is too few bullet points and they have not been elaborated. I imagine I had so much to say then just like I have so much to say right now that it's more than a year into marriage. BUT so little time. Uhhg. So many things about marriage that nobody told me about.

This is a personal reminder to write down thoughts and feelings more often so my future self will smile upon finding treasures like this. This current self is definitely smiling and touched by this wonderful gift of words by my past self. 

For now, may you find yourself smiling too, friends.

In My Perfect Life (Update from 10-year-old post)

I was going through my blog posts and found this entry about visions of the future. How amazing! In that post, I answered questions about how a perfect life would look like for me. While reading my answers, I find myself grinning from ear to ear and my heart is so overwhelmed. I am so glad I got this documented because, really, the biggest purpose of keeping this journal is to relive moments and feelings of the past that my thoughts cannot hold on forever. 

From March 2010 

In your perfect life:

-where would you live?
-what kind of people would you like to spend time with?

-how would you spend your time, if you could be doing anything you wanted?

-what would you eat? wear? have?

-would you work? If so, what would you do? If not, what would you do?

-what do you want to learn? to know? to be?

-where would you like to take a vacation? What would you do?

And here are my answers :)

- I still don't have a particular place in mind but I would always dream of having a house at somewhere rural where fresh air and green fields and blue skies are everywhere. It would be some kinda rest house where i could go to during weekends because I still want to work in a city proper. Thus, I want to have two houses :)

- I will be spending so much time with my parents and siblings. During weekends, we'll have lunch together with our own families. I want my children to see my parents often. I'll have regular chit-chats with my lifetime girlfriends about life, family, and business.

- I'm a woman who wants to do so much. So in my perfect life, I would be working as a teacher, a statistician for graduate studies and even at a corporate world (that's just once in a while and when my kids are already in school), having a bakeshop or a restaurant. And when at home, I'll be having a vegetable garden, I'll be a hands-on wife and mom even up to preparing my husband's and kids' baon. I'll be sewing my curtains, bedsheets and pillowcases. :)

- I'm not so much of a meat eater. And I hope in few years, I can eliminate meat and just be a fan of fishes and veggies. I would want to design and sew my own clothes. I want to have my own car so I can go anywhere and take my loved ones for joyrides. (This one is a secret revealed: My wildest dream is to own a resort here in General Santos City. One that would be a family sanctuary.)

- I still want to work. I still want to teach part time. I really want to manage a resort. It seems to be a very fulfilling job, developing a beautiful place for people's memorable moments.

- I want to enhance my cooking skills. I've enrolled in cooking lessons before and I want more! I want to know more about managing a household because I want to be a loving wife and mother of 2 kids.

- I want me and my husband-to-be to travel often. And when we'll have our two kids, we'll take vacations twice a year. Visits to my mother's hometown in Capiz and visits to my in-laws, as well because it's always fulfilling to reconnect with my roots. We'll go to different places everytime and try every adventure. :)

Ten years later, I still have the same answers to these questions! And the best part, I am living my almost perfect life already! How great is the Almighty!

• I am currently living 20 minutes away from the city I was born and raised in. One of my dreams was to live outside of the city and although I am not that far it (and this municipality is working to be a city itself), the dream still came true. :) And I love it here. The climate, the proximity to the public market (which I love to frequent to because of the fresh local produce), the community, the potential of the place, the everything! And this is where our future home will rise. This is where I see my old retired self gardening, reading, hosting intimate gatherings. 
• I love family gatherings! And weekend lunches had been happening until the corona virus happened. We are in different areas as of the moment and have not seen each other for four months but keeping updates via group chat. I had to work on the chitchats with girlfriends part. 
• I am still a teacher but the statistician part is not happening anymore, found another path :) The wife part, well, this has been my greatest joy since seven months ago. :) Marriage deserves a post on its own. The baon part was so specific from that ten-year-old post that I think it had become a part of my subconscious because I am so winning on this part. Ha! I am loving being a homemaker. I knew this would be fun but never thought it would feel this good. I should really dedicate another post for this. 
• I am still not a vegan or a vegetarian. Ha! But I have learned to watch what I eat. I think that's what age does to a person. One becomes a more mindful eater, especially now that I am the one deciding on our meal plans. I am the picky eater in this household so he gives me the power over the food choices. This involves a lot of fresh juices, smoothies, herbal teas, fish dishes, soups, etc. I have sewn my own clothes few years back and I am thinking of doing it again. The car part, working on it. The wildest dream part is still a dream and not yet working on it but putting that out to the universe. :)
• Nothing much has changed here. :)
• The cooking skills have greatly improved! I vividly remember my purpose of enrolling in TESDA's hot kitchen cooking and baking classes in 2009. I so wanted to earn the cooking skills to prepare myself for wife duties. A decade after, here we are. Happy to report that the skills have been put to practice excellently. This claim can be supported by the beneficiary with  indisputable evidence. :)
• The Capiz dream with the husband almost happened in April. It was supposed to be a big family reunion but again the corona virus happened. We feel the same about traveling and exploring places so let's see. For now, I am grateful for the other things in between. The dreams I have never dreamed for myself. The experiences beyond my limited imagination but have been planned for me by the Almighty. All praises and thanksgiving!

This has been fun. It truly is amazing how we are lead to the desires of our hearts. That whatever decisions we make along the way, we would eventually be where we are supposed to be. 

Happy Birthday, Laiza girl! 2020 Edition :)

Laiza girl, I wish you the best in life. Many may have wished you the same especially today but I think that statement means differently and with deep sincerity from someone who has seen it all, who has been through it (almost) all with you. I met you in your Laiza Version 0.0, I guess, then naging Version 1.0 tapos the Version 2.0. Pang-ilang version mo na ikaw kaya? :) Kidding aside, I truly believe that you deserve all the best in life because of your heart. 

We go waaayyy back and I have seen you blossom. (Wow parang debut!) From the outside you may seem to have it all together and to have figured out everything in life because you handle things quite wonderfully. I am amazed of how several things (a.k.a responsibilities) you can handle at a time, without a pause, rarely complaining about being tired and even while you are at the stage of whining about how you just wanted to give up at times, you also think about how to snap out of whatever that difficulty you are in.

The goodness of your heart has evolved. I have always known how you unconditionally give for others -  your family, your friends, even complete strangers. But now, you give better to other people because you have learned to give to yourself first. I am happy and most proud about that because that is the hardest lesson to learn.

You now have everything you have prayed for and I know there are more dreams about to come true. Your hardwork and genuine intentions will be rewarded by the universe! Keep the faith. I pray for your heart's contentment and fulfillment everyday of your life. 

I love you dearly, every version of you. :) 

To the maid of my honor, ayyy... Maid of Honor diay, happiest birthday!

P.S. Posting this deleted speech from my wedding for my maid of honor. :)

To Laiza, my beautiful maid of honor, who has flown from Manila only for my wedding because we promised to be there on each other’s wedding, who was more excited than I was when I told her I was getting married because I was having wedding jitters, who searched Divisoria several times for her perfect dress, who gave me my dream wedding shoes but so much prettier than I dreamed it to be, who thought of getting me the gold robe just so pretty kami sa pictures. You are the sweetest, most generous, most thoughtful maid of honor ever! Better than I was with Ate My. Laiza has seen it all, she has witnessed the ups and downs of my adult life and knows the most about me and Drew. She was very supportive and always excited to hear wonderful stories, to listen to sad stories, to give sane advice when I was not being rational, the first one to know what’s happening in my life. When everyone else is asking about school, work, she would just ask if I were ok. And if I wouldn’t reply for days, she would send another message “ok ka lang besh? Kumusta na ang buhay natin dyan besh?” She would continuously but tirelessly make kulit until she gets an answer that I was ok. And just waits for me to spill the beans. Hindi talaga ako makwento na tao but sa kanya nasasabi ko talaga lahat... Like she knows everything. Haha. She  has this certain honesty in herself that would make me open up, too. Haay... Laiza girl. You are one precious person. And I am excited for you, too. I love you!!

L.O.V.E.

Writing an entry about L.O.V.E. on the last day of the love month! What do I want to talk about? The second greatest love of all - the self-love. I usually have structured thoughts before I write for an article on this blog but this time I might just ramble on.

I wanna start with these photos (of old photos) of the little me and my family. I believe that love is nurtured at home and I am glad my parents did not come short of making their children feel important, validated and loved. 

Cannot edit out the pen scratches :)

We grew up being validated by our parents. My father would always tell us we were bright and beautiful and handsome and that we got it from him. Ha! I see how he does the same to his grandchildren now. As the years unfolded, I discovered that not everything he told us we were were true. For instance, he would always say I had a nice singing voice because I got it from him. I believed him for so long and felt confident that I could sing because he could really sing well. That was until my sister recorded my voice on a cassette tape (90's kids alert). When I heard my voice, wow! I was amazed of how tone-deaf I was! In my ears I was singing in tune but really, I could not hit a single note. This is why you cannot see me doing karaoke, ha! His validations, although some are false, gave me confidence, value, and self-worth. But I highly discourage false validations. It might be harmful for others ('ears).

As to my mother, she never missed a school performance. In school, I was always asked to dance, orate, join quiz bees (but never sing) and I always looked for her face from the stage. I did not understand how important it was to me then but I do now. We were never verbal about our love for each other growing up. It is only recently that we can actually say "I love you" to our parents but I have always felt loved. My mother said I was a difficult child but I felt I was transformed by the holy spirit through her prayers. 

I feel that self-love springs from the love-seed planted by our parents in our young hearts and minds. Notice how some people seek strangers' validations and attention. This has become an issue in this world of social media. It seems that what others (strangers at that) say about us are deemed as more important than our family members and friends' opinions. I think this issue is big enough I feel I am not in the position to elaborate.

Teenage years to late 20's were particularly difficult for me. Although I get enough love from home, science says that it is during these years that we tend to value the opinions of our peers. I questioned so many things about myself, my body. Self-acceptance became a struggle. Why am I too short, too thin, too pimply? Why am I not like her? Why don't I have this or that? It is so true what they say, "It all gets better." And that is exactly what I will tell my younger self. I have come to terms with myself a few years back and I have loved my body since, in all its greatness and flaws. I know I should not be using the word great to describe my tiny body but hey, just let me :) I am also grateful to not have mean friends during those sensitive years. I was surrounded by friends who were very accepting of my complicated personality.

In the years of meeting, listening, and talking to people, I have come to realize that each one of us wants to be loved or be validated at least. Everyone desires attention, validation, love. If we cannot get love from our parents and immediate family members, let us surround ourselves with friends who celebrate us. I have very few friends. I have not gained a single one in the past 5 years, I guess. I am tempted to think I have a personality disorder because again the world says we should have friends here and there. Well, I am not made for the socializing world. It seriously exhausts me, ha! I think I am beginning to sound like a boring and unhappy person now. Boring, as to the rest of the world's standards, yes I am. Unhappy, definitely not. Happiness, just like beauty, has a subjective meaning. And mine means solitude with pens and a journal, a quiet place to read a book, a new place to explore with lots of walking, a long trip to the grocery store, a textile haven or flower garden. It could also mean a spontaneous trip with friends, family with plenty of music! And oh, an intimate conversation! That is basically what is inside my happiness kit.

So this has now turned into a talk about happiness. Oh gee.. Told you I would just be rambling and babbling. But hey, self-love and happiness are strongly correlated. If we love ourselves, happiness immediately follows. Loving me means knowing me, accepting me, valuing me, then nurturing me. I hear so much about if you cannot get love from other people, give it to you. And that no one can complete the love in you because you have the responsibility to love yourself fully so you will not just go about begging for it. When I find that true, I also feel like only the most self-aware people can achieve that such as the monks, the nuns, the religious, the spiritual. And all the rest of us need a little help from the outside. We love ourself more if there are people who make us feel loved. Or is that just me? 

I have embraced my flaws because there are people who see my flaws as something adorable. I do not seek validations from a lot of people because I receive enough from those whom I want the validations to come from. The love-help, as I call it, can even only come from one. I have discovered my strengths and developed them because there is someone who believed in me. I am working on my dreams because there is someone who is dreaming with me... And all that jazz! You get the point. :)

Self-love is beautiful and so is love-help. Love-help boosts self-love and vice-versa. If you can have both, that is wonderful! If for now you only have one, nurture the other. 


May your life be filled with love, friends.



P.S. You ask what is the greatest love of all then? It is Love of God, no doubt. That is the greatest love-help we can get, too. All other forms of love spring from it. :)

Random Musings: On Debts

I am glad I am not "swimming in a pool of debt" as Rhea Mocorro-Haguisan put it on her article from Dreams to Millions planner. I have three credit cards with only one being used often. The other two were randomly offered for a lifetime of free annual fees. I love anything free so I grabbed the opportunity, ha! I pay my cards in full every month and have never tried paying only the minimum because high interest rates scare me. I track my expenses very meticulously so I know when my credit monthly budget (which I impose on myself) is reached. That way, I can stop myself from swiping my life away. Ha!

I also have a loan from GSIS which I only started paying last year. Because the interest is low, I postponed my payments when I lost my job in 2016. Oh, by last year I meant 2017. I am still getting used to this new year. I used some of it to start investing in the stock market. I will be able to pay it fully by next year, for sure.

I am grateful that I was raised by parents with no crazy debts. Well, I have always known about loans because I often hear about it from my parents and I know how it helped them manage to take care of the family. However, they know how to pay their debts so well they have never been in any financial trouble that caused our future. I have heard stories of children paying their parents' debts and I am grateful for my parents for not putting that kind of burden to us, their children.

My view on loans: There are good debts and bad debts and I now know the difference. I made financial mistakes in the past and I vow to be better everyday. Thank you, God for the wisdom.

P.S. Always in deep thoughts whenever, wherever. :D

I Stopped Chasing My Dreams

I have been making vision boards for each new year, break these down to goals for each month, and even further, to-do lists for each day. This is me for a little more than a decade. But in 2018, I stopped. I stopped doing my vision board. I did not have a planner. I did not write a single daily list of to-do’s. Not that I gave up on life but because I wanted to test a theory- a theory on destiny, “Whatever is meant for you will not pass you.” Equivalently, whatever is not meant for you will never be yours. 

I welcomed the year with no plans, no expectations but with recycled dreams, usual fire for the things I love and willingness to embrace whatever comes along the way. It was at first scary but I knew I had taken uncalculated risks in the past, what could go wrong. How did my year go? Best year yet! Just like how I describe my every year during my evaluations because really, I learned so much. Unexpected, unplanned big things came as surprises and I was not disappointed about those which did not happen because I never planned anything in the first place. Ha! What a relief! 

I am a worrier. Worry is deeply rooted within me I reckon I was born with it. I worry about every tiny detail in my life I have control issues. So imagine a big goal in my vision board made on January only realized in the middle of the year or worse, the last month, or worst never. In 2018 my biggest achievement, I consider, is letting go and letting God. I have always told this to myself, have written it on borders of my books and notebooks, posted it on my bedroom walls but it is only now that I can say I have fully lived by it. Now allow me to scratch that “am” on the first statement of this paragraph and change it to “was”. I was a worrier. Ahhh... That felt good. That kind of transformation was never part of the plan, was not forced into me by me, but it happened because it was meant to be . I feel so free... plus I am sleeping better. Ha!

Since I did not have dreams posted on my wall, I had nowhere else to look but within. 2018 was an intimate journey within myself. I am a fan of books of how to’s and chasing dreams. I must admit the readings opened my mind, made me more aware of the vastness of the world, the places I can go, the amazing possibilities. There is so much out there to achieve but I got a little confused along the way. With so much access to other people’s dreams, I confused mine with their’s. Theirs were so loud I got distracted and forgot to listen to mine. I learned to carefully choose what to feed my mind and my eyes.

Now with better understanding of my own dreams- what I really want to become, do, and have, I am ready to face another year. And I am getting back to having a vision board and goals because... they are fun and planners are really irresistible! Ha! I got this one by Des Feliciano and Krissy Domingo.

But really, because I also believe in Law of Attraction: "You attract into your life whatever you are focusing on." This may sound like a contradiction to the above theory on destiny but I think the former precedes the latter. I have to start somewhere and besides writing dreams sparks excitement and fuels motivation.

Chasing is too strong of a word for a slow-paced me. It makes me panic when I can not achieve this and that within a timeline. I will keep dreaming, discerning for the purpose of those dreams that are planted in my heart, working for those dreams,  and believing that whatever is meant for me will never pass me. More importantly, just in case the worrier in me will try to show up, I will rest in the comfort that whatever is not meant for me, however hard I will work and chase for it, will never ever be mine. 

Have a blissful, bountiful, and peaceful year ahead, friends.

Dear Caela

I came across this post about your second birthday, read it again and it dawned on me that I missed seeing you grow everyday the past 4 years. I only get to experience you few weeks in a year but in those fleeting times, know that you make Tata happy. 

I remember vividly the first time I came home after being away for almost five months. I intentionally did not announce my arrival to surprise everyone. Indeed, Papsy and Granny were caught off guard. I received very tight hugs. I knew you would not be home until the next day and I told them to keep it a secret that I had arrived. And so the next day came. You were a little groggy from the bus ride. I was hiding sitting on the couch waiting for you to step in and when you did I just looked at you, smiled, and said, "Surprise!" You gathered your thoughts for a second then jumped on me, hugged me tightly while you exclaimed, "Tata!" Oh, that was one of the best feelings in the world. Since then, I make my homecomings unannounced because it gives my heart a little tenderness. 

When you get a little older and bump into my blog, you will find things about you here and there. May you read these stories one day and know that you give this family more than joy. You make each day more special just by your little and sometimes silly ways. I am in awe of you, baby girl. And you promised that even when you get taller than me, you would still allow me to call you that. I called you Ching the last time I was home, short for tabachingching, because you were getting chubby but you insisted on baby girl still. 

Well then, enjoy your childhood, baby girl! We celebrated your 7th birthday this year and it was themed Belle of Beauty and the Beast. That was a fun party! You and your mom planned it very well. 

Your current favorite song is Never Enough and we watched The Greatest Showman together on my laptop. The first time, you fell asleep. The first poem you ever memorized is All Things Bright and Beautiful. You did that for school but I hope as you grow older, you will understand each word by heart. That is Tata's favorite poem. Your handwriting is beautiful. Your reading is excellent but you need to improve on numbers. Ha! But you are already very good at multiplication. 

May you grow up healthy, smart, and happy. 

Super tight hugs,

Tata

P.S. Here are a few photos of the younger you.

Your first time in Intramuros, Manila where you learned about Dr. Jose Rizal

At Tita Buday's place in Shell Residences, Pasay City while waiting for others

Before the Sea Lion Show in Manila Ocean Park. You named that toy Isabel after the sea lion performer.

Before going to kindergarten school.

This was the first time you wrote TATAA with an extra A. I was ecstatic! You just turned 3.

Flower girl for the nth time in Bagumbayan, Sultan Kudarat. You love wearing lipstick and being made up.

Currently Vol.10

I am writing (the draft of) this issue of the Currently series 35,000 ft above the ground on board flight AirAsia Z2 236 from Jakarta to Manila. This is the first on board article of my blog, ever! How exciting is the sound of that?! I love firsts! *Insert a grin from ear to ear.* However, this will be posted upon landing since there is no wifi on board. Ha!

READING
AirAsia's Inflight Magazine, Travel 360, because I am one of those people who not only scan but read inflight magazines. I start with the airline's routes and the recommended sites to see. Next is admiring photos of models of jewelries, clothes or fragrances. I then proceed to reading features of places or traditions and the tell tales of the editorial team. There is usually two or three of this type of article. Finally, I spend most of my time reading articles of a featured personality. It can be in interview style or the person writes the article himself. Not only do I learn about the stories of their success in their respective fields but also the "book-worthy" events on the way to it. It is comforting to know that there are people who have somehow gone through and surpassed the same challenges as we have right now.

WRITING
Or will start writing the extended version of the article we have submitted for a journal as part of my dissertation. Praying for a positive outcome on that submission! :)

LISTENING
To the plane's loud engines but I am not at all complaining. I would rather hear the engines and know that they are still there than stop hearing them because that would only mean one thing, right? Ha!

I am also intently listening to indistinct chattering all around me. The sounds of these foreign languages are music to my ears. There is Chinese (do not ask me whether Mandarin or whatnots), Bahasa, etc. It makes me grateful to be surrounded by strangers (foreign at that) because it means for me that a dream has come true. That is the feeling everytime I travel.

THINKING
About how these airline food catering work. It seems like a big industry! On that note, who says airplane food are no good? I just had Uncle Chin's chicken rice, which does not look appetizing for lack of colors but it tastes pretty good. This was preordered and the price was not that bad. Php180 saves you from a hassle, specially during longer flights, plus it gives you something to do.

FEELING
Sleepy but enjoying this (slightly) quiet alone time before going back to reality. Not that I do not think of those wonderful 8 traveling days as reality. It was a worry-free snap out of my student life, which is nothing close to worry-free. Ha!

LOVING
The beautiful sight of a group of well-dressed old people traveling together. Seated beside me even looks like one of those aunties in the Crazy Rich Asians movie. She has this updo hairstyle carefully sprayed to make every strand in place, rings on almost all of her fingers, shimmering gold and silver bracelets, floral big blouse, giant dark sunglasses, face foundation a few shades lighter than her neck's and popping cheeks and lip colors. I wonder why she is flying with AirAsia and not in some other airline for the crazy rich. Ha! She is an Indonesian citizen but of Chinese heritage according to her and she speaks little English. She is a nice seatmate, not one of those annoying ones. She offers a share of her food even before she starts eating. Next to her is her husband who has just been quiet this whole time.

Some of the gentlemen of their group dressed in batik polos are seated in front of me and have not stopped chattering even during their meals. I cannot understand any word they say but by the expressions in their faces, tones of their voices, and energy on their hand gestures they seem to be enjoying their lives.

A family with two toddlers a few rows ahead are very busy! So much is happening in a span of one minute I cannot keep up. What I can only record now is that the older child keeps herself busy with videos downloaded from Youtube. The younger one keeps his parents busy by being a normal toddler of course.

WANTING
To finish the quick video of my Jakarta snapshots. I like making vidoes of my trips. I now enjoy moving images better than the still ones. By the way, I was in Indonesia for a math conference.

NEEDING
To take a nap after this. :)

WISHING
To see a wishing star (or falling star) because I want to make a wish. Ha! I remember tying a white handkerchief then closing my eyes to make a wish everytime I see a falling star years back. I think I want to feel that feeling again because I am all for feeling feelings! Although I now know it really is not a star but a meteor, that fact does not take away the magic everytime I see a falling star.

Also, I remember this fascination of falling stars because of the story of Captain Lim Khoy Hing, a pilot, who authored an article in this month's issue of Travel 360. Another article is about a Malaysian property developer turned author of a fiction novel at 78! I like what he says here:

"When I told them it's fiction, they were rather surprised! I suppose in their minds, an autobiography would have been a natural climax to one's public life."

It reminds us that it is never too late to do what we have always wanted to do, that we can always have as many feathers in our hats as we would like to have, and we do not have to take the straight path. Being different would be a good surprise, not just to other people but to our soul.

May you open those pages of the inflight magazine the next time you travel, friends!

***This is not a sponsored post. I am just being appreciative. :)

Currently Vol.9

Feeling extra pumped up because of all the music I have been playing while working. And so before I travel to snooze land, I am in the mood for a currently entry. 

READING

A Radon-Nikodym Theorem for Capacities by Siegfried Graf. :) Well, because we are creating something similar for another type for "measure". That's a quote and quote because it is not really a measure by the definition but of some sort. Hah! It is something exciting and guess what, I really enjoy doing this. Not everyday is a good one but that is research, right? I just keep on keeping on!

WRITING

Oh, right. Well, apart from my current cliches, I also enjoy writing (more like typing) here. This is my sanctuary. It relaxes my mind when I put my thoughts and feelings in words. Besides, I have to exercise my writing skill because I think I am losing it. 

LISTENING

To old songs still - Adele's When We Were Young, Coldplay's Scientist and Yellow, and from Crazy Rich Asian's version of Can't Help Falling In Love With You. Oh, what music can do to your soul. And that Love on Top by Beyonce? That gave me moves! 

THINKING 

About Vietnam. I finally had the chance to travel outside the Philippines! I still have to share photos of that really momentous trip! On December of 2017, I went to four countries - Taiwan, Vietnam, Malaysia and Singapore. I stayed the longest in Vietnam (10 days) and maybe that is why I miss it the most. The culture, the people, the sceneries, the FOOD! Here are few snaps from my Vietnam trip.

FEELING

Fulfilled because of some accomplishments. :)

LOVING

Oh, I want to list under this my current random favorites!

• Breakfast - Quaker Oats in Chocolate plus raisins (Oats can be boring but chocolate flavored and with raisins? Come on, give me more!)
• TV Series - Netflix's Forensic Files Collection (Anything science is interesting!)
• Podcast - Oprah's Super Soul Sunday (specially the episode with a Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh)
• Collection - Pens (Keeping all the pens since I started my PhD and shopping for more!)
• App - Investagram (I started investing in the stock market three years ago but only learned the technicals months back. This app is the bomb! The best app to read the charts.)

I have to close the parenthesis and elaborate on that one because I believe that while others were made for singing, dancing, painting, coding, and running, I was made for reading charts. Haha! Everyone has a purpose and the world now seems to project that the only fun thing to do is traveling, taking photos, collecting make-up, having a Youtube channel, etc. I love to break the news that not everyone is made for the arts... or sports. Some are made for science and numbers, which are equally fun and entertaining. Some can really do everything.  The important thing is, we know what we are made to do and not just do the things that everyone does. Find that purpose and make a living out of it just like those people we see on TV, watch on Youtube and follow on Instagram. They entertain and inspire and they are paid for that. How wonderful it really is if we can do what we truly love and be paid in doing so!

WANTING 
-
NEEDING 
To wash my dishes then sleep so I am skipping the other items. :) 

WISHING 
- 

May you enjoy your current favorites, friends!

Family Outing in Gumasa

The first time I was away from home for so long (four months) was during the first semester of my PhD. And I remember it to be the worst feeling ever! The whole PhD idea was supposed to be an ideal and normal course for someone in academe. However, it was just an option for me. I did not have a dream that big for my career. But when time and situation called for it, I took the leap of faith and jumped right on. Needless to say, I was not prepared. I mean no one can really be prepared for something but it was such a roller coaster ride for me. The first few weeks I was at the bravest and weakest me.

Missing home was the worst part. I was already 30 years old at that time but no one can never be too old for a mother's hug and a breakfast and dinner prepared by a father. I was not used to be in a strange land surrounded by strangers for a long time. I can only imagine how harder it is for our overseas Filipino workers. Comparing yourself to others is sometimes a good thing, you see. It makes you grateful for what you have. It does get better!

When I went home after that first semester, the family went out for a beach trip in Gumasa, the Little Boracay of Sarangani Province. Looking at these photos makes me grateful for the family I have and all I have ever desired is a life of good health, happiness, contentment, and fulfillment for all of them. 

May you cherish your family, friends.

Light Bulb Moment

Hey you all! That is, if my past readers are still here. It's been more than 2 years! I hope you are doing very well wherever you are. And to my new readers, hi. Thank you for bumping into my tiny side of the world. Just a quick life update. I am still a student finishing my dissertation for PhD in Math degree. Oh, these years of studying got me into a lot of experiences that I am gonna save to share the next time. 

What really got me to drag myself signing in to blogger again, after all these years, is this very important and very short youtube video. So please take time to watch. 

I want to write down the points that lead the woman (from the audience) to a light bulb moment. 

Woman: I think I am trying to be loyal to the fact that I came from poverty. 

Oprah: What she has is a belief system that says I cannot really accept the abundance that is offered to me or that is available to me because I believe I have to remain loyal to my poverty.

Woman: People that I knew that had a lot of money, that was their identity. And I do not want to build an identity around money.

Oprah: The whole idea of having wealth is not letting wealth use you but you use it. The more money you get, it does not really change you unless you are the kind of person who is defined by money.

Guest: There is a difference between wealth and materialism, and many people confuse the two.

Aha!!! Did you just have the same light bulb moment as that woman? This idea of difference between wealth and materialism is now what I firmly believe in. But it took me some time and tons of readings to convince my thoughts that hey, it's ok to dream of being wealthy. It is ok to have lots of money. Cringe. Yeah I know, right?! Because money is such a sensitive and controversial topic of conversation on this side of the world. 

We, majority of us, do not talk about money on dinner tables with our family. Or maybe we do but it is mostly about our salary and how we get by the next days or weeks with all the utility bills, food, loans, education and other expenses we have to deal with. How we help to send our younger siblings to college, how we help our parents with the medication maintenance and their everyday needs during their retirement. But never about educating ourselves about finances! Yes, I am talking about financial literacy here. I do not mean only stocks, bonds, mutual funds but also budgeting, saving, proper investing. And we cannot start this conversation properly if we cannot recognize that there is a difference between being wealthy (and using that money to better ourselves, the people around us, and the community as a whole) and being materialistic (ending up being mean, greedy and proud). A thing is neither good nor bad. It is your action towards it that determines its worth.

So, it is okay to have money! Even lots of it! I hope this video has the same effect on you, too.

It does not stop on that recognition of being worthy of the possible abundance we can acquire but it is a big start!

May you have a wealth of thoughts, friends.

Currently Vol. 8

I am only on my 8th post for this Currently series. Haha. Well, 8 is my second favorite number because to me it signifies infinity. It is that idea of something with no end, limitless. I like that. I like being limitless. Don't you? :)

Here is today's currently...

READING

Real Analysis (4th Ed.) by Royden and Fitzpatrick, my current favorite read. This is my life now and I am embracing it. But minutes ago, I was reading the celebrity page on Yahoo. 

WRITING

Oh, just some paper I had to pass 7 days from now. Student life! :)

LISTENING

To my mind screaming for a getaway. Summers used to mean beaches, sunglasses, flip-flops, and exploring new places. Academic calendar shift turned all those into libraries, headphones, sneakers, and meeting deadlines. So here's to daydreaming.

THINKING
About the future. The very near yet so far future. 

FEELING

Unwell, frustrated, irritated but hopeful and positive. One minute I feel happy, the next minute, I want to throw all the things on my table outside the window. Kidding. This must be PMS or the weather.

LOVING

The pretty little flowery things outside the library. Any shade of this hue, I like. This is the color of my bedroom which I planned to change because I have a new favorite color but my father repainted the walls with that same color. Well, fathers sometimes do not know best.

WANTING
To go change my surname already. Ooppss! The thought came too fast and, for the first time, my fingers are in synchrony with my confused thoughts. Ok, snapping out now. 

NEEDING

To take five, with four being quick, baths everday lately because of extreme summer heat. I hope everyone keeps hydrated to avoid serious troubles.

WISHING
I could fly back to Gensan right now to join the family for dinner. It's my youngest brother's birthday today. Four of the five children in the family are April babies, all Aries. Go figure it out. :)

May you create tons of summer memories, friends!