This Year I Turned 40

These photos were taken on a rooftop restaurant last April, on my 40th birthday. Yes, the big 4-0. A milestone, they say. Some people celebrate it with balloons, grand parties, or themed cakes. Me? As usual, I chose the quiet, simple, with only the immediate family and unhurried conversations. I wish I could add with good food as well, but that would be a lie. Ha! Food was okay here, not a wow-i-sure-would-be-back-for-that-biryani-and-pasta kind of moment.

When I turned 30, there were more people. We also celebrated in a hotel. Now, at 40, it’s different. My two brothers are now living abroad, and that makes me emotional because I keep wondering, "When will we ever be complete again?" But Drew has joined the family now, and his presence fills some of that space bringing new meaning to our gatherings.

I also remember being so brave at 30! I did something really big and risky. I wanted to be out there, to make a mark. I tipped a foot in but didn’t dive fully, because I realized that wasn’t everything I wanted. At the time, I thought stepping back meant failure. For years, I carried that feeling, as if I was a failure. But now, I’ve healed from that. I see it differently. I haven’t stopped dreaming big. I’ve just become more intentional about what I want, and more at peace with the timing of it all.

If I were to describe the feeling of turning forty, it would be this: standing on a rooftop. From there, you see everything... the busy streets of your younger years, the unexpected detours, the wrong turns that somehow led to right places, and the shortcuts you didn’t plan but are grateful for. You glance back and think, “Wow, I actually lived through all that.” Then you look forward, and the horizon is still wide, still calling.

I’ve always thought of birthdays as reminders. Reminders that I’ve made it this far. Reminders that even with cracks and imperfections, life has been generous with lessons and second chances. At forty, that reminder feels sweeter, heavier, but also lighter, if that makes sense. It’s heavier because of the responsibilities and the awareness of time passing. But lighter because I no longer feel the need to over-explain myself or impress anyone. And it's true what they say, confidence comes with age. I feel more confident in myself these days... more secure in my choices, more firm in my decisions, and more grounded in my views.

So here’s to turning forty. To rooftops and horizons. To the past that shaped me, and the future that still surprises me. To keeping things simple: conversations that matter, meals that nourish, and a heart that notices the light even when shadows grow long.

Forty feels like both a checkpoint and a launchpad. And I think, I’m ready for both. I'm ready again.