I just received an email from an airline stating that my flight to Manila from Davao tonight at maybe 8:40 will be delayed and that my new expected time of departure is 10:45 pm. It further said that they were sorry for any inconvenience it would cause me. Oh well, it just reminded me of my supposed trip this weekend which I had painfully decided to cancel a month ago.
It was hard taking something out from my system since I had been doing that same trip for the past five years. But there were personal things to consider which made me choose to stay. I would surely miss a lot! I don't even wanna start thinking about one. But don't worry. I'm now fine. It's not a matter of life and death so there's really nothing much to worry. :) Thank you for listening reading even though I'm not fair enough in giving some information.
One thing I regret is missing the post V-day dates with two dear girlfriends. Allow me to be a cheesy gal here because I owe these two ladies some honor for being so loving friends to me.
Melai. I have not seen her personally for nearly a decade now. We've lost touch for few years when she and her family went back to Manila but thanks to Facebook we got hold of each others numbers again. Melai made me tons of love letters in high school even if it was not Valentine's Day. We exchanged letters a lot then because we didn't have cellphones. Only the richy-richy kids had those. Nokia 5110 pa uso nun. Haha! Old school kung old school. Her letters are still lovingly kept in a box in my closet.
I let her read my super teenage emote-emote journals from cover to cover in which she got the lyrics of a song she had written for me and my broken heart. The title was "Man Of My Life". I did not know about puppy love because then, it felt like forever. Aminin, you felt that way , too. She also sang very well so she taught the song to my other singer friends and by the end of the day every brokenhearted girl in the classroom was singing my song (with flowing tears and runny nose. Haha!).
I loved the idea that the lyrics were mine. It felt so personal. I sang the song in the shower. I sang it to lull myself to sleep, when I was walking in the streets, when picking up flowers in the garden, when leaning my back against the wall just like those in music videos. :) That was how she made me feel special. She just not heard me. She understood me and made others feel me. Some even shared their puppy love stories to her asking for personalized songs, too. By the end of the week, we had a song book! Amazing!
Melai, I miss your loving words and caring hugs. I will never forget how you lifted me up when I was at my lowest and held me up even more when I was on top. I love you! :)
Mylene. I don't know if I need to say more because I've poured out my heart on this post. The day she left our humble ladies' quarter in MSU felt like she left me. It was even harder than a break up or maybe just equally hard or less hard. Ok, all letting go's are awfully hard. I don't like goodbyes.
I still can remember her last day in the 'house'. She was packing her things when I went out of my room. We hugged each other tighter than ever. Then said our farewells and goodlucks. Then loosened our hugs because she had to finish packing. I left the 'house' first because I did not want to see her turn her back on me. When I was still a few steps away, she texted me super sweet friendly thank you's and take cares. Tears were flowing from my eyes (syempre sa eyes talaga galing ang tears. :)) Something was gripping my heart. It was so tight I could hardly breathe but I continued walking. I never turned back. Parang teleserye lang ang peg!
She is now in Manila. We have seen each other few times after that dramatic goodbye so it was just saying hello to physical distance not the emotional one.
Ate My, I always say this but I'll say it again. I'm happy and proud of all that you have become. I am so disappointed that I had to cancel this trip but we will see each other again for yet another big trip later this year. I hope we will make this yearly :) I miss your funny stories and the moment-worthy ones :) I love you te!
To these two wonderful ladies, thank you for taking part in my very dramatic MMK-ish life story. And forgive me for stealing your photos. Hehe. Seriously, thank you for filling up my love tank even from a distance! :)
2 comments:
Awww.. Ems.. As usual, I was touched by this post. I'm sorry for making you feel that way.. that I left you. I want our friendship to survive and to be alive despite the distance.
As I've probably told you a number of times already, you are one of the best treasures that I've found in this world. You've been my pillar of strength and you've continued to inspire me to become a better person.
There are times when I really feel sad because I miss you. I miss hanging out with you, doing our usual stuff together - even the smallest things that we used to do together - like eating apples. Hehe.
I really hope we can keep in touch more despite the "network barrier". :p
I love you Ems. And please don't think that I left you.
hi ems. Sorry for the super delayed comment. I explained my side already hope you forgive me for responding late...:). Thanks so much for what you had to say here. Gives me a little bit of nostalgia, lol. I missed everything in those moments. Looking back, I don't regret being as sentimental as I was before. I am better now- di na masyado emo, hehe but at least I have become that person before who gave love like I did.... Ems, thanks so much. You will ALWAYS be dear to me, ALWAYS. That's not gonna change. Kahit minsan i cant communicate with you, but you are always gonna have that special and unreplaceable spot in my heart...;)
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