What Do I Really Want For My Life?

I'm reading Bo Sanchez' post today about "Everything You Want Is Found In Your Courage Zone". And he says that before I continue reading I should first list down what I really want in life. He says to write down clearly. Graphically. Deliberately. He calls it defining my success. And being his avid reader and fan, I'm being obedient. :)

Without peeking at his next statement, here I go:

What do I really want for my life?

1. I want to be emotionally and spiritually mature.
2. I want a work that's more on helping to shape lives than to shape minds.
3. I want to have a work apart from my work. I mean something that I like secondly from teaching. I want to have a business out of something that I really love. Maybe accessories, shoes, dress. I also want to train teachers and future teachers. :)
4. I want to give my parents a wonderful travel time.
5. I want to help and see my siblings achieve their own dreams.
6. I want to have a wonderful family of my own. :)
7. I want to be financially independent.
8. I want to help my cousins to have a bright future.
9. I want to be a blessing to others through my service in CFC community.
10. I want to be a living witness of God's greatness. :)

There you go. I've defined my success. I guess these would all include every aspect of my life.

Bo really has a brilliant mind. It's what God's gift is all about. See his post from this link. http://bosanchez.ph/everything-you-want-is-found-in-your-courage-zone/

Movie Time: Here Comes The Bride

Summer work was over! Thus we deserved a treat!!! Yey! Ate My, Laiza, and I wanted to laugh out loud that Wednesday afternoon and it was so timely that "Here Comes The Bride" was in the cinema. The trailer was so funny and the reviews were so intriguing. I said, "I want to watch this movie sooooooo bad!" :)

I've been a fan of Filipino comedy movies since "Tanging Ina" of Ai-ai Delas Alas. Filipino movie makers have mastered making people laugh at their hearts' out. I'm hard to please when it comes to comedy. (Maybe because I'm a poor joke-breaker. So I study well how it's delivered. Hehe..) I really have to dig first on jokes. There should be a nice story before the delivery. And of course, it's 99% delivery. :) Sorry. I sometimes over-analyze. :)

But this movie. Come on! It's so hilarious!!!!!!!

The movie was about five persons who swapped souls due to a car crash in the middle of a solar eclipse in a magnetic hill. The soul of Angelica Panganiban (the bride), gets into the principal sponsor played by Eugene Domingo. Eugene’s soul gets into the soul of the ring bearer’s nanny played by Tuesday Vargas. Tuesday’s soul gets into Jaime Fabregas (the rich old patriarch). Jaime’s soul gets into John Lapus (a gay beautician). Ultimately, John’s soul gets into the body of Angelica Panganiban!

I was giggling and laughing with my head back tilted to grasp more air. And my body was often times as if rocking through my chair just to express how delighted I was. :) Hehehe.... Not the typical me. I just usually give a little smile and would secretly giggle and I don't normally rock my chair in laughter.

But ahhuh... It was that funny!!! I overly highly recommend it!!! Go watch the movie and be happy. And fall in-love as well. I fell in-love again with the idea of getting married. Haaaayyyyyyyy.. :)

What a wonderful gift for hardwork! :)

We saw a nice big mirror in the mall. And we couldn't help it. We're such "salaminkera".. :)

Another mirror pic. This one's in the ladies room. :) Faces of happy and beautiful and fabulous women! :)

Be Regretful Not

I've been going to school since I was 5 years old. I started Kinder 1 and way up to getting a Master's degree. I'm now 25 and that's about 20 years of studying. Well, technically that should be subtracted by 1 1/2 since I rested on my thesis after defending my proposal October of 2008. I felt it was the right thing to do because I reasoned out that I needed to find my happiness out of school.

It's not that I wasn't happy going to school. It was, in fact, my life. When I tell a story about my life, the plot would go around my experiences in school. I basically have no life outside of it until recently.

Recently, meaning after I decided to rest for a while from my thesis. It's different when it's a Master of Science in Mathematics. We don't do surveys. We don't do experiments. We don't go to places and find for a thing to study. We just do expository on studied theorems. We do lots of proving and solving and all.

Then I thought, it could wait. I've had enough of school already. I've enough knowledge yet to teach in a university. It won't hurt if I stop for a while.

That's how I thought my happiness would start. And so there I was exploring my world outside school. I traveled. I went out often with friends. I treated and pampered myself to the fullest. I super had fun. Those were the happiest months of my life ever! I had the greatest times of my life.

I gave attention to the development of my being - inner and outside being. I believe I grew into a much better person.

Sometimes, I want to regret. What if I've just continued. I only had a semester left. I have lots of what if's but I don't want to spoil my moment. I refuse to regret making myself better in other aspects of my life.

And now it's time to come back. :) And I'm ready to be at my best again. I believe that this is where I'm best at - making myself better. This time, as a student again.

"Moments Of Love"

I've accidentally listened to this song yesterday in the office. The radio was playing during lunch and I was mesmerized. I found my spirit being lifted up in a gentle way and as if my body was gracefully dancing with the melody and I found myself closing my eyes and humming. The song is definitely beautiful!

The voices of Jennelyn Mercado and Janno Gibbs were amazing. They blended so beautifully and they just powerfully touched my soul. I fell inlove with the song some four years ago and I just discovered that up to now, it still can comfort my heart.


Moments of love
Close beside you on the warmth of the heart
Although the night
It’s just you and me
We can make it to the beat of our heart
Lost in the start

Moments of love
Moments of love
Bringing us closer together
Sweet memories
Sweet memories
I know we’ll remember forever
Moments of love

My lover my friend my friend
You can give me
All the things that you see
I’ll always dream
Dreamin’ in your arms (your arms)
I feel it’s like I can do everything
You’ve given me wings

Moments of love
Moments of love
Bringin’ us closer together
Sweet memories
(Sweet memories)
I know we’ll remember forever
Moments of love

Faded photographs and letters
Signed I love you
Promises we made together
And dreams that came true
Dreams that came true (dreams that came true)

And Day after day (day after day)
We look into life with
Moments of love
Moments…
Bringing us closer together
Sweet memories
Sweet memories
I know we’ll remember forever
Moments of love


The movie was great, too. I'm a fan of movies which make me cry. And this one had not failed to squeeze my lachrymal glands. It was not so realistic because there was somewhat "time capsule" drama but it definitely was wonderfully made for hopeless romantics. :) The nature views especially that of a riverside was breath-taking.



The movie is not really a must-watch but I highly recommend the song. Listen to it and fall in love! :)

How To Handle Change Gracefully

Changes are coming my way and sometimes I get disturbed. I'm just not so used to abrupt changes but I know that there'll be big changes soon. Thus, I need to be prepared. I don't want to be caught unaware because I don't like "bad" surprises. :) I need to acknowledge this only constant thing in the world.

I want to post an article by Jeff Cohen. It's just so helpful to me right now. Be filled by Mr. Cohen's wisdom. :) See it here.

Change can either be good or bad; but whatever form it takes, there’s only one reason why change occurs – it is to set aside the past and look ahead to the future. Although leaving your comfort zone is a tough thing to do, there is always a way for you to move forward and meet these changes successfully.

Acceptance

You have to realize that change is inevitable and no matter how hard you try to run away from it, things eventually happen if they are destined to happen. It is true that the only thing that is constant is change, so always be flexible. Admitting that change is already happening or just actually happened is hard but denying it will not make things easier.

Look on the Brighter Side

View change as an avenue for growth. You may not like the transformation at first, but most likely you will get used to it soon. Be optimistic and keep your head held high. Who knows what is in store for you? Keep in mind that there is always a reason for everything and look at the changes around you in a different perspective.

Let go

Letting go is one of the hardest things to do. Letting go of things that were part of your routine doesn’t happen overnight. Stop dwelling on the past, move on, make your first step forward and accept the change with open arms. Letting go is easier said than done but it does not mean that you cannot do it. You have to realize that you need to let go to give way for new things in your life. Letting go is a process everyone needs to undergo in life. Every now and then, you have to sacrifice something or someone in order to start anew, oftentimes, for the better.

Focus

Focus on what is left and not on what is lost. Rest for a while, concentrate on the next step and give all your attention into it. Do not look back, just go forward and confront the changes that are already in front of you.

Do not Stagnate Yourself

Change does not mean the end of the world so stop feeling paralyzed. Do not let fear of change stop your world from evolving. Do not resist. Rather just go with the flow and see where change takes you. Remember that you control your life. Do not let change control you.

Scared and Sad

"The more we know how we feel and ways to feel, release, be with, or let go of our feelings, the better we feel about ourselves." by Kali Munro, M.Ed., Psychotherapist.

This statement says it all. The past days, I've been confronted by my inner self with a lot of emotions. New stones are being left on my path for me to step on or to avoid. I'm now facing situations where my ability to handle emotions gracefully is tested.

My officemate/friend Laiza has been approved of her scholarship in Cebu. Ate My is waiting for a call from a university in Davao that she applied in. Then I felt a pain inside. Why are people leaving me?

(Ate My and Laiza)

Letting go is one of the hardest, if not the hardest, thing for me to do. I just can't let other people go easily especially those who have been so attached to my heart. And these girls are all I have for the longest time that I've been working here. Though Laiza will be back for two years, that's still a long time. And though Davao is just 3 hours away from Gensan, that's still a big change. Ate My and I have been living under one roof for 2 years.

Everything would be so different without my two fabulous girl friends. We share almost everything about life. They're my closest friends now. The girl bonding moments are the best ways to stay alive and enthusiastic in this somewhat routinary world. KFC moments are always laughing and touching lives moments. In the coming days, it will just be me eating alone there. Whew! I'm again scared for that moment to come.

So what exactly am I feeling right now? I feel scared again. Scared of not going to be as happy as when they're just around. For now, that's it. I'll be taking this one step at a time again. I don't wanna preempt things. Let the emotions come as they will. I know I can handle them :) (I'm trying to be brave here. Please spare me some of that courage that you have.)

And I'm sad for I'll surely miss my girl friends!

I pray for Ate My at these moments. She really deserves this, Lord. I guess it's time that You please fulfill her heart's desire.

My New Swivel Chair

Look at that. Isn't my chair so great? :) It maybe so unusual for you to listen to me right now asking me what so great about this swivel chair. Ok... Listen well and I'm so sure you'll shake my hand after this.

I've been working in this state university for almost three years already and I've been sitting on this chair.


Yes.. Just look at this chair. I've felt you patting my shoulder right now. I'm hearing your sympathy. Thank you so much for knowing how I felt on those three years. Exactly! It wasn't good sitting on this 5 days a week! If I wanted to rest my back, I just couldn't. Good that I love working with my back straight and not leaned back.


But hey, you should also understand that state universities are sometimes like that. They don't seem to care about their teachers' welfare or they lack budget or they just haven't known some simple necessities. The facilities of the school for students are worse. But I don't wanna talk about that at this time. I just wanna commend them for the improvement they've made. :) Don't like writing sad stories.

I actually didn't wanna tell about the chair struggle that I had because I haven't really minded that. I didn't wanna think about what I didn't have. I still saw the bright side. At least I had a chair. :)

Anyway, so there it is. After the chair struggle, let me share my joy of owning a chair. It really is now my chair. (By the way, that old chair wasn't really mine. It was just a second hand from a senior one).

When I saw my new chair, I had my smile so big that it almost reached my ears. My teeth flashed and my hands were clapping and my heart jumping.

Thank you so much! :)

Now I feel more like a professional. I have a beautiful and comfortable chair.



I hope others would realize how blessed they are for having the simple things.

My Vote Counts :)

Today is the first automated election in the Philippines. And I've casted my vote! :) This is already my 3rd national election. Ahuh. You heard me right. I'm not that old though. (Defensive.. Hehe.) I've been a registered voter since I was 18 and I've started voting in a national election at 19. That was 2004. And after 3 years, at 2007 there was election for senators. For those 2 elections, I was a board of election inspector. It's just this year that I'm a plain voter.

I've thought of my votes well. Especially on my presidentiable. I've read blogs, researched on their achievements, listened to the opinion of others, and listened to my heart as well. I want my vote to be very well-thought of. I want it to be very personal that I could stand up for my every candidate. Yah.. I'm so serious on this. I've been so passionate about my right to vote. I, in fact, see it as my responsibility for my country.

I've been so excited to vote this year because this is the election that most people are so involved of. Media have done a great job on increasing the number of voters. The campaigns on the citizens' awareness and roles on the better change of this country have been so tremendous and I'm so glad how those efforts turned out. People are going out to vote! I so love Filipinos!

My family woke up so early. When I woke up myself, they've all taken their bath. It was only 6am! Omg! How am I supposed to catch up? It was so unusual for me to prepare at less than an hour. But a miracle happened! :) I was ready to go at 7am. Whew! So there we went. Off to Balunto Elementary School. My father, mother, 2 aunts, and I. Yey! I had my sample ballot with me. I've listed my candidates the night before. I was so prepared.


Here's the school. Many vehicles were parked. Several people were inside voting already. I thought we were so early. Hehe..

First step, to find my precinct.


There it is. Precinct 0236B is now one with the other 4 precincts. Five precincts before are now one. I'm with my aunts. My mother and father are on the other precinct. It's at the back of the covered court.

Second step, I had to know my number from the list of voters.


I was at number 26. Yey! So glad my name was there. Few people couldn't find theirs.

Then, I got my priority number. I was number 7! I was about to breathe a relief because I thought I'd be entering already to vote. But the in-charge said I already belonged to the 2nd batch. It was a hundred per batch. And the first batch was just at its 14th voter! Omg! Whew! But I patiently smiled. So glad I brought a book with me.



As I once in a while glanced at my precinct, I saw impatient people, complaining about how slow the Board of Election Inspectors were, how unsystematic they were, and other complaints(which for me were petty). I also saw people pissed off that they just went home and allowed themselves to miss a very important event in their lives just because they were not willing to wait. I pity them. I just hope they won't be complaining about the government in the future.



I waited. I hadn't heard my heart complain. I love this participation in a very big event of the country. I was so willing to wait.



And finally, I could see the door! After two hours! It would finally be my turn!


An indelible ink on my right point finger. A sign of a responsible and loving Filipino. :)

Few hours of sacrifice which would make a difference for my country for the next six years..


GOD bless the Philippines!

Fully Booked Soon In Gensan

I'm so excited! When I read from Bariles' blog ( http://www.gensantos.com) that a new bookstore will soon open in Gensan, I had to breathe deeply. I needed more air. :) Ahuh... I really got excited. Because it wasn't merely a bookstore. It said that it would be a free-reading place. It would also have a coffee shop. How about that? It would be the first ever bookstore of it's kind in Gensan!!! Give that a round of applause guys. Aren't you all excited? Book lovers will have a paradise! Especially me :) Wonderful books are expensive. And most of them are not available as audiobooks or ebooks which I could just download from the internet. Then at least I'll have good information and entertainment for free! :)

And guess what?!? I guess you wouldn't guess what I'm making you to guess. :) I've actually thought of putting a business like this. It was me and Ate My. The days when our minds were so vibrant with what business we would like to venture on in the future. We've thought of that. Ahuh.. Really :) Because we so love books. It was a bright idea, right? This would be a great time to learn from this kind of business as well.

But for now, I'm so excited for it's opening. I can see myself being stuck there for hours. :) Bariles posted a picture, too. And I'm posting it also here... just so you'll see it. :) It's a branch in Ayala, Cebu.

Love-Filled Day

Today, I feel so loved. I had an amazing class this morning. Aside from the probability and other probability distributions, we shared good laughs and warm smiles. I so love being a teacher :)

And at the fastfood, I ate my happy food - my ohh so delicious Jollibee spaghetti :) It's such a rewarding moment. I got hold of a book and just took my time.

A woman and a cute little girl shared the table with me. There was no vacant table anymore. With a welcoming smile, I nodded. The child was so adorable. I asked her how old she was when the woman, whom I thought was her mother, was on the counter. And to my relief, she responded. I thought she was told not to talk to strangers. The woman who was pretty much in her middle 40's was strict-looking. She didn't even smile when I agreed to share the table with her. I figured she didn't want me talking to her daughter. So I wasn't talking the whole time she was around.

But when she went and got something, I again chatted with the child. When the child transferred by my side, and was opening the pockets of my pocketful bag, the woman finally smiled at me, as if apologetic of the actions of the child. Then she mentioned she was not her child but her niece. And talked about Hannah (the name of the child). We talked about what Hannah was up to at present and her soon to be entering elementary years. When they got ahead, I was looking at how she was dearly loving her niece/goddaughter. And to my surprise, she nodded and smiled.

When a friend of mine, Ate Ninfa, who just arrived and sat at the other table saw who I was talking to, she asked me how I've known that doctor. Ohhh.. I didn't even know. She was a dentist as Ate Ninfa informed. It was fun talking to strangers.

After there, I went to my household (it's a term our community uses for prayer meeting) at Tita Bing and Tito Joel's home. I love households. It's a fuel to my week. We had an interesting sharing about self-righteousness vs love. The girl bonding was what I also looked forward to. I learned a lot from other women's stories.

From left: Jaja, Ate Revs, Tita Bing, that's me :), and Ate Cute 

My last event of the night was meeting my girlfriends at Robinson's. Rhea will be working in New Zealand already. Yey! Hurray for my dear nurse friend. She'd been waiting to go out for so long. And though it's a sad fact that we'll be apart for a while, I'm still so happy for her that she'd now be able to fulfill her dreams. I know she'll be the best nurse in New Zealand! God bless you, Ray! :)

This are my HB friends, my lifetime friends. From left: That's Rhea. I call her Raya.
Then that's Rose, Reicel whom I call ChiChi, and Me:)

My New Favorite Song

I have finally decided on my new favorite song! :) This is a very special event in my life because the last song which I really considered favorite was Colors of the Wind. That was Pocahontas time. And my other favorite, which I considered to be all-time, was I Will Be Here by Gary Valenciano. But everybody seemed to have the same fave. I want a song which is unfamiliar to many.

When I hear it playing, I can't help but close my eyes and imagine myself dancing with my man. :) I want it to be my slow dance song on my wedding :) Ahuh.. just one of those feel good things about the deeper part of me.



I'm so overly romantic. I imagine every part of my romantic future. :)

Anyway, here it goes. It's entitled Kapag Mga Puso Ang Nag-uusap by Aiza Seguerra. I have other favorites by her like Power of Two and Laughter in the Rain. The latter is my happy song. :) I copied that term from a recently read blog of Bianca Gonzales (a TV host and celebrity here in the Philippines).

Here's the lyrics of my new favorite song! :) If you want to listen to it, click here:

Kung nasaan ka noon para akong hinahatak
Nais ng puso ko ang puso mo'y makausap
Hindi pa nagkikita ayos na ang lahat
Huwag ka nang magugulat mga puso'ng nag-uusap

[Chorus]
Kapag mga puso ang naguusap
Tumitibok na lang sila ng kusa
Ang tunay na pag-ibig di na'yon hinahanap
Dumarating na lang bigla kapag mga puso ang nag-uusap

Ang ganda nitong pag-ibig sa atin dumating
Lahat ng nangyayari di na natin hiniling
Hindi pa nagkikita ayos na ang lahat
Huwag ka nang magugulat mga puso ang nag-uusap

(Repeat Chorus)

Nakakatata, nakakatuwa
Basta pag-ibig puso na ang bahala

(Repeat Chorus)

(Kapag mga puso ang naguusap)
(Tumitibok na lang sila ng kusa)
Ang tunay na pag-ibig di na'yon hinahanap
Dumarating na lang bigla kapag mga puso ang nag-uusap
Dumarating na lang bigla kapag mga puso ang nag-uusap
(Dumarating na lang bigla kapag mga puso ang nag-uusap)

Disconnected

Internet connection here in BQ was disconnected for a while because the circuit breaker of a tower was burned. That's the reason I've heard. I don't understand what really happened and why it took more than a week to fix it.

Text messages and calls were also affected. It was hard sending messages. They often fail. I had delayed messages as well.

It continued for few days. And it was hard! It dawned on me that I've been so attached to technology that I was terrified when I couldn't use my phone and my internet. They are so part of my everyday life. When I wake up in the morning, I check my phone. When I'm not going to work early, I check my emails. I use my phone the whole day. I use the internet for researches, for readings, for blogging and checking out on my friends and family.

It was just these recent months that I've been so into the reading and discovering a lot from the virtual world. And since it became a part of my days, I feel kinda half-filled without it.

And so, given the poor cellphone communication and absence of internet connection in BQ, I just went home often. It was the good side of what happened. At least there, I still could use my phone. I spent good laughs and warm atmosphere at home every after work. And not just sitting long hours fronting my computer and surf.

I discovered that though so attached, I still could survive without the connection. :) And now that it's back, I still hope it won't be disrupted again. :)