Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I Never Saw It Coming

I love retreats! I love the moments of silence even in the presence of many people. The retreat mode inspires me to reconnect with my inner being. I love the reflections the most because I discover lots about myself.

On the Single's Discovery Weekend Retreat last week, we were able to discover our 5 P's - Our PURPOSE, PASSION, PAINS, PLEASURE, AND POWER. I loved that weekend. (More on my discoveries next time).

On the early beautiful morning of the second day, the retreat master gave us a quarter of a catolina, crayons, and an instruction to draw a picture of our lives 5 years from now. I've done this vision of my future few days back. In fact, I've shared my dreams in this blog (pls see: In My Perfect Life). And so, I've finished drawing and coloring in a snap.



I'm not an artist here. But I'm so proud of what I've done because it was heartily made and it speaks the whole of who I want to become and what I want to do and have.

Here it is folks! I need a drum roll here please...



I know what you're thinking. Yeah! Don't mention it. Thank you so much for the generous comments :)

This is truly special in my eyes. It wasn't about the drawing. It was about the state of my heart when I drew it. I was at the point in my life that I was so sure of who I want to become and thus, I poured all my heart and all that I was that moment. It was a perfect picture of my life 5 years from now.



I was so spirit-filled and excited when I shared my vision and I was happy with how my friends responded. They thought I've vividly described my future. And everyone else there had fair share of presenting their visions. Everyone felt delighted about the activity.

The retreat master even had a recap of each of our dreams. She was holding our drawings in her hand..... when she suddenly TORE our dreams, MY DREAMS apart! How devastated I was! I saw her even crumpling my dreams. I found my heart being torn and crumpled as well. I never saw that coming. I never thought my dreams will be shattered. I never imagined a small possibility of not living my vision. I've always held my dreams close to my heart and cherished a big hope that one day, these things will come true... because I'm working on it... because all that I'm doing now are heading to it. How will these dreams not come true?



It was then that I started shedding tears... The reality struck me. WHAT IF? What if, all of what I've imagined won't get real? What if everything will remain dreams? What if there will be many hindrances? What if things will not go the way I want them to? What if there will be people or situations which won't allow me to go this and that path? Woooooaaahhh!

And then, I snapped out. Yes, there will be hindrances. But I'm willing to pursue. Yes, there is a possibility that some of the things won't come. But I'm sure majority of those things will and if not, better things will. And yes, things may not go the way I want them to. But I'm a flexible person. I can accept the things I can't change but I'm determined to change the things that I can.

I've never been this hopeful in my life and noone can take away that vision of a very wonderful future in my heart.

God promises a wonderful future for His princess.. :) To my King be all the glory!

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