The Five Love Languages

The Love Month has ended three days ago but here I am still talking about luuurve :) This actually is a long overdue post which was supposedly a February entry. It was the month when people get extra intimate with each other. But anyway, I just had to do this because I find this book so interesting since I heard of the five love languages just recently. And after all, love is and should be celebrated all year round. :)

When a beautiful tall white American actress says, "Meboohey Philippines" and invites us, Filipinos, to watch her movie, we'd find a way to go to the cinema because we feel she's talking to us personally. In 1994, when Miss Universe was held in Manila, we heard almost all foreign delegates said, "Mahal ke keyow" and gave us their beauty queen waves, we could not help but me amazed. When a blonde baby boy sings, "Behay Kooboe Kaheet Monti...", however awkward his words are, we still adore him so much we want to pinch that nose. Those people have different languages from us but when they speak our language, we feel that they have taken time to reach out, to communicate in the words that we know best.

Gary Chapman says that love also has its languages and a person can feel other people's love if they speak his love language to him. He wrote the book originally for married couples but I'm glad he has this singles edition. The Five Love Languages according to Gary Chapman are (in no particular order) quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts, and touch. Now let me go to the five reasons why I love The Five Languages (Singles Edition) by Gary Chapman:

1. It is something about love. Who does not love something about love? All the world needs love and learning about love besides doing something for love is something that I love :) I do not know if the author is aware of this but his book has 14 chapters and you know, Feb 14 is the Heart's Day. Well, there must be some kinda numerology in there. Haha!

2. It reveals something I have never known before. One of the reasons why we read is to gain information. And this one has definitely tons of things to offer apart from revealing those five languages. Well, I love. I receive love but I have never known that at some point, there are proper ways to love. Every page is insightful. Every paragraph is highlighter-worthy. :)

3. The author is not strictly preachy. Gary Chapman is into counseling, human behavior study, etc. He has all the reasons to impose this and that but he does not do that in his book. He tells a story to state a situation of a relationship in conflict then shares how it was resolved and how the relationship bloomed after. It seemed that all the relationship problems addressed by him were cured through the knowledge of the five languages. In real scenario, in my opinion, however, conflicts arise not only because the other person does not feel loved anymore but of course, that's another issue.

4. The book talks about many kinds of relationships, not just romantic. Love is not just for couples in a romantic relationship. This stage of single adulthood is where we deal with more kinds of relationships than in any stage in our lives. Oopss.. As if I have been to other future stages. Haha! But seriously, I still think that love should be about everything and everyone, not just focused to only one so having insights on how to keep relationships, especially friendships, is something I am pleased with.

5. The book includes a personal assessment tool. There is a love language profile in the end which gave me an idea of what my primary love language and my secondary languages are.

I was actually surprised that my primary love language was quality time. Before I took the test, I guessed it was words of affirmation because I always wanted to be complimented, to have approval, to receive sweet text messages and love letters. Hehe.. It turned out that words of affirmation was just my secondary language. But as I ponder on the ways I want to be loved by the people around me, I now agree with the result of the test. I want my loved ones' focus, undivided presence. :) See, I am not a high maintenance person. I don't desire expensive gifts. If someone who crosses my path says I'm beautiful, that'll make my day. Haha! And if it is my birthday (which by the way is just a month away *cough *cough), your presence will do but of course, a little gift won't hurt because according to the author, 

"Love in any language enhances relationships."

Ok. Ok. He also said that...

"But spoken in one's primary love language 

communicates on an even 

deeper emotional level."

But I still accept gifts! :)

And here is the great news, if you don't have an idea on your primary love language, I found a similar test in the internet. Check it out here. 

P.S. The teapot, teacup, and the bookmark were given to me few years back by someone who speaks my love language so well. :)